


going, going, gone

by gladdecease



Category: Glee
Genre: Community: prompt_in_a_box, Episode: s02e20 Prom Queen, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-08
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladdecease/pseuds/gladdecease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave feels a hundred pairs of eyes on him, burning on the back of his neck.  He says, "I can't," and leaves.</p><p>And just keeps on leaving.</p>
            </blockquote>





	going, going, gone

**Author's Note:**

> Story is based on promotional details about Dave from 3.05, "The First Time", but I've yet to see the episode so I don't know how accurate it is.

Dave walks down the steps, Kurt next to him, and thinks: Hey, maybe I can do this. Everybody knows he's cool with Kurt now, and Dave's friends think it's because he _has_ to be, because Santana's a bitch and has his balls in a tight grip. That's not true, but them thinking it means they wouldn't suspect, right? He could dance with Kurt and say he had to.

Only, then Kurt whispers something to him. "Now's your moment," whatever that's supposed to mean.

And then he says it.

"Come out."

They're in the middle of the dance floor now, and Dave turns to Kurt, his motions automatic, while his brain runs in overdrive. Because the only answer he can give to that is - no.

No.

And suddenly it's all too clear how naive he was, to think he could get away with dancing with this boy. There's a hundred pairs of eyes on him, or what feels like it, and they burn a hot, angry spot on the back of Dave's neck. They're waiting. They did this to Kurt, and now they're waiting to see what Dave will do to him on top of that.

It's why Finn didn't win, even though he's everybody's favorite. He's Kurt's stepbrother, there's no way this bloodthirsty crowd would risk a sweet, brotherly dance. They want cruelty. Taunting, ridicule. They want Dave to spit in Kurt's face, make him ashamed that he came back after finally _finally_ leaving. And - no.

No, Dave can't do that anymore. He can't be that guy.

He doesn't _want_ to be that guy, which might be the more important realization here.

But he can't be the guy Kurt wants him to be either - the surprise gay to shock the whole room, to warp their conservative little minds, to show that Kurt isn't alone, that they just voted two gay guys their king and queen. He can't be that guy.

As long as he's here, there's going to be people wanting him to _be_ that guy. Either expecting him to go back to his old ways once Santana dumps him, or hoping he'll be a martyr for the Gay Cause - either way it's people looking at him and not seeing who he is.

Dave's tired of that. He's tired of so many things... and hurt. He almost wishes he _could_ be that guy for Kurt, so he could demand answers from the crowd. Why is being _me_ so wrong? Why was I so terrified of myself for so long? But that last question isn't past tense - he's still terrified, so he won't be demanding answers any time soon. Instead, he says, "I _can't_ ," and leaves.

The weight of a hundred and one pairs of eyes on his neck makes him feel shaky and weak, but he doesn't stop. He can't.

 

 

He leaves the gym, leaves the building, walks past Finn and the guy Finn was trying to beat up, gets into his car, and leaves school property. It's not like Santana was gonna leave with him after he won and she didn't anyway. It's not like he's leaving anyone behind who needs him.

Kurt certainly doesn't. He's got a boyfriend who's sure to jump out of nowhere and dance with him.

Dave drives in circles around Lima for an hour or so, thinking. He comes to a decision just as the stars start really appearing in the sky, white pinpricks in a black ceiling. He gets home to find his dad's car in the driveway, parks on the street and walks to the door.

His dad's surprised to see him home this soon and immediately asks him if he's alright, if everything's okay, what happened. It loosens something hot and twisted inside of Dave to hear that concern, something he's let himself ignore over the past few years in favor of paranoia. He'd been so certain his father would abandon him, or beat him up, or anything else in those nightmarish stories people tell about gay kids, but really? His dad's a good guy. He doesn't care that Rachel Berry has two dads, and he wouldn't care if he had a gay son.

Dave will tell him, soon.

When he's ready.

For now, when his dad repeats the question - "Are you alright?" - Dave just shakes his head. Because - no.

"No. I'm not."

His dad sees the crown Dave never took off but doesn't ask about it. If anything, that confirms that Dave's making the right decision. That entire school wants him to be somebody else, but Dave's dad has only wanted him to be himself. He's the only person who knows Dave who will like the guy he really is.

So he's the only person Dave needs to keep in his life.

Dave sighs shakily and says, "I can't stay at McKinley anymore. Please - don't ask why. I just _can't_."

His dad looks at him for a minute, then nods. "Alright," he says. "I'll look into local schools you can transfer to. If you're sure this is what you really want."

Dave nearly laughs. Instead, a sad little snort of a chuckle escapes him. "Yeah. I'm sure."

It's the first time he's been so sure of something in _years_.

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt "I am heavy, but I feel frail," from Maria Mena's song "Eyesore". The prompt is for the November round at [prompt_in_a_box](http://community.livejournal.com/prompt_in_a_box), where we can revisit old prompts from prior rounds.


End file.
